everywomanover29 blog

Food, Mood and Women's Health – Be your healthiest, look and feel great!

Valentine’s day

The 5 Love Languages for fabulous mental and physical health

By Trudy Scott 10 Comments

lovelanguagebook

Without loving relationships, humans fail to flourish, even if all of their other basic needs are met.

Love is deeply biological.

It pervades every aspect of our lives and has inspired countless works of art.

Love also has a profound effect on our mental and physical state

The above are from The biochemistry of love: an oxytocin hypothesis published by The European Molecular Biology Organization.

With Valentine’s day coming up I’d like to share a wonderful resource for you to improve your loving relationships so you can truly flourish and see improvements in your mental and physical states.

It’s a book called The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman, director of Marriage and Family Consultants.

This fabulous book will help you

single out your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect with your loved one with intimacy and fulfillment

And the great thing is that when you have your partner (and loved ones) do it too it will

benefit your partner [and loved ones] to know your primary love language in order to best express affection for you in ways that you interpret as love.

When I first heard what the 5 love languages were – Physical Touch, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service and Receiving Gifts – I intuitively knew what my top ones would be. But it was still so helpful to do the 5 love languages online profile and read the book to get a really good understanding of it all! (If you’d prefer not to do the online quiz there is also one in the book itself)

As it says on the site:

The 5 Love Languages profile will give you a thorough analysis of your emotional communication preference.

The payoff of speaking each other’s love language is a greater sense of connection. This translates into better communication, increased understanding, and, ultimately, improved romance.

And, if I may add, fabulous mental and physical health!

In case you’re wondering about me, my top two are Physical Touch and Quality Time with Words of Affirmation a close third. Receiving Gifts was a zero for me!

I have to admit that learning that some people also don’t like Receiving Gifts was quite a relief to me. I’ve never been a gift person and always felt like it was kind of weird. Everyone likes getting gifts! Why don’t I? But now I know! I’ll take (and give) a big hug or spend quality time with Brad or my mom or sister before a gift!

Gary Chapman has written a number of books on the same topic but aimed at different audiences: for children, teens and even a one for the workplace. The book for the workplace is called The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace. I received a copy of this book at a recent business event and we all did the quiz. I was so impressed that I plan to use the quiz with folks that I work with so I can to show appreciation to my colleagues/team in ways that are meaningful to them.

Do let us know your love languages from highest to lowest ranking. And have your partner and loved ones do it too.

 

Bite-sized carob heart recipe for Valentine’s Day

By Trudy Scott 11 Comments

carob-hearts

Enjoy this healthy treat for Valentine’s Day! Make your honey and the kids some of these yummy bite-sized carob hearts and you’ll all be smiling instead of feeling like you over-did it on the chocolates and candies.

  • 1 cup organic almonds, soaked
  • 1/3 cup pumpkin seeds, soaked
  • ½ cup organic dates
  • ½ cup organic raisins, soaked
  • ½ cup carob powder
  • ½ cup coconut oil
  • 4-5 teaspoons water from the soaked raisins

Soak almonds and pumpkin seeds overnight (or 4-6 hours) and then drain and rinse. Place raisins in a small bowl, cover with hot water for about 10 minutes. Save both the raisins and the raisin water in two separate bowls. In a food processor grind almonds and pumpkin seeds until fine. You can also use your blender and use the “grind” option.  Remove nuts/seeds from the food processor or blender and add dates, raisins, carob, coconut oil (first melt this on low heat on the stove) and vanilla.  Blend this well. Now transfer the nuts and fruit mix to a bowl and mix. Add 4-5 teaspoons of the raisin water, if necessary, until the mixture is the consistency of very thick cookie dough. Roll into 1 inch balls and then shape into bite-sized hearts. If you make these at another time of the year, just make them into bite-sized balls.

This recipe is thanks to Frances Holmes, one of my dear friends and a nutritionist colleague.  She used to make them for us when I worked in Julia Ross’ Recovery Systems Clinic in Mill Valley. Frances says: “Add pizzazz by rolling the balls in coconut, cinnamon, carob, toasted sesame seeds or any other tasty thing your little heart desires. You can also be creative and add flavored essential oils, or spices like cardamom as well.”  

Once they have been coated, chill for 2-4 hours in the refrigerator, or until the balls slightly harden. And Frances says “These little delightful bites freeze well too!”

I have modified the original recipe: I used half the carob powder and replaced 1/2 cup almonds with 1/2 cup pumpkin seeds.  Some optional additions: 1/3 cup whey protein powder; substitute some of the almonds with walnuts; add I T ginger to 1/3 of the batch; add ground mint leaves to 1/3 of the batch.

And here are some of the few healthy reasons for selecting these over store-bought candy:

  • Dates and raisins have health benefits like iron, fiber and are naturally sweet
  • Coconut oil is healthy fat that is delicious and helps offset the effects of the sugar in the dried fruit
  • Carob is a healthy magnesium-rich naturally caffeine-free alternative to cocoa and chocolate. The caffeine in chocolate affects some people and makes them anxious.  If you can eat chocolate do make sure it’s dark chocolate
  • Almonds  are a source of protein and fats and vitamin E
  • Pumpkin seeds are a good source of tryptophan and zinc (a functional food made from pumpkin seeds has been shown to help with social anxiety and insomnia).  You can read more about soaking and pumpkin seeds here
  • Sesame seeds are a great source of calcium and magnesium and add a delicious crunch
  • Coconut flakes add a delicious tropical flavor and crunch

Happy Valentine’s Day!